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What's the best form of birth control after 80?
Nudity.
***************
What's the difference between a girlfriend
and a
wife?
45 lbs.
***************
What's the difference between a boyfriend and a
husband?
45 minutes.
***************
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they just sit there in the dark and
bitch.
***************
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are
sensitive, caring, and good looking?
Because
those men already have boyfriends.
**************
What's the difference between a new husband and a new
dog?
After
a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
***************
What makes men chase women they have no intention of
marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no
intention of driving.
**************
What
do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
**************
Why does the bride always wear white?
Because
it's good for the dishwasher to match the
stove and refrigerator.
**************
A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead
are all in third
grade. Who has the
biggest boobs?
The blonde, because she's 18.
**************
What is
the quickest way to clear out a men's
restroom?
Say, "Nice Dick."
**************
What did the blonde
say when she found out she was
pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
**************
What's the difference
between Beer Nuts and Deer
Nuts?
Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a
buck.
**************
Why
does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
***************
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West
Virginia?
Everyone has the same DNA.
**************
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts
don't have eyes.
****************
What's the difference between a Southern zoo, and a
Northern zoo?
A Southern
zoo has a description of the animal on the
front of the cage,
along with a recipe.
***************
What's
the Cuban National Anthem?
Row row row your boat.
***************
What's the difference between a Northern fairytale
and a Southern fairytale?
A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time."
A Southern fairytale begins
"'Y'all ain't gonna
believe this shit..."
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