GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1. No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2. When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her comb your hair.
3. If you sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second
person.
4. Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5. You can't trust any dog to watch your food.
6. Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7. Never hold a Dust-buster and a cat at the same time.
8. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9. Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1. Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2. Wrinkles don't hurt.
3. Families are like fudge, mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4. Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held ground.
5. Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber - not the toy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD:
1. Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
2. When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down
there.
3. You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair
that you once got from a roller
coaster.
4. It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask
you the questions.
5. Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
6. Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1. You believe in Santa Claus. 3. You are Santa Claus.
2. You don't believe in Santa Claus. 4. You look like Santa Claus.


Thanks Bethy