GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1. No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her comb your hair.
3. If you sister hits you, don't hit her back. They
always catch the second
4. Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5. You can't trust any
dog to watch your food.
6. Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7. Never hold a Dust-buster and a cat
at the same time.
8. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9. Don't wear polka-dot underwear under
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1. Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O
to a tree.
2. Wrinkles don't hurt.
3. Families are like fudge, mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4. Today's mighty
oak is just yesterday's nut that held ground.
5. Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber - not the toy.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD:
1. Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down
3. You're getting old when you get
the same sensation from a rocking chair
that you once got from a roller
4. It's frustrating when you
know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask
you the questions.
5. Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy
6. Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
believe in Santa Claus. 3. You are Santa Claus.
2. You don't believe in Santa Claus. 4. You look
like Santa Claus.