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Dear Employees:
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
throughout the company
have been using foul language during the course of
normal conversation with their co-workers.
Due to complaints
received from some employees who may be easily offended,
this type of language will be no longer been tolerated. We do
however,
realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your
feelings when communicating with
co-workers.
Therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided so that
proper exchange
of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner
without risk of offending our more sensitive employees.
TRY SAYING:
Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF:
And when the fuck do you expect me to do this?
TRY SAYING:
I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF:
No fucking way.
TRY SAYING:
Really?
INSTEAD OF:
You've got to be shitting me!
TRY SAYING:
Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD
OF:
Tell someone who gives a shit.
TRY SAYING:
I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF:
It's
not my fucking problem.
TRY SAYING:
That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF:
What the fuck?
TRY
SAYING:
I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF:
This shit won't work.
TRY SAYING:
I'll
try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF:
Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?
TRY SAYING:
He's not familiar
with the issues.
INSTEAD OF:
He's got his head up his ass.
TRY SAYING:
Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD
OF:
Eat shit and die.
TRY SAYING:
So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF:
Kiss my ass.
TRY SAYING:
I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF:
Fuck it, I'm on salary.
TRY SAYING:
I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF:
Shove it up your ass.
TRY SAYING:
I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF:
This job sucks.
TRY SAYING:
You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF:
Who
the hell died and made you boss?
TRY SAYING:
I see.
INSTEAD OF:
Blow me.
TRY SAYING:
I
think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF:
You don't know what the fuck you're doing.
Thank You,
HR
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